


It's Also a Drone

by jadetea



Category: Parahumans Series - Wildbow, Worm - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Humor, Omake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 20:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21277211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadetea/pseuds/jadetea
Summary: An omake forLord Doom





	It's Also a Drone

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lord Doom](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/531269) by Rust Pony. 

> I'm alive! … mostly
> 
> I've been really into Worm lately, and I managed to write this omake in one go. SB is currently down for maintenance, so I'm posting it here first!

**PRT ENE 1930**

The low murmur of conversation silenced as Armsmaster stepped to the front of the room. He tapped a button on his wrist, and a three-dimensional projection appeared next to him. 

"Lord Doom. Initially rated Tinker 1."

The hologram blinked out, and the wall behind Armsmaster lit up. 

"This is footage of Lord Doom's first known outing, where he used a device to hack an ATM." Armsmaster continued, "His next several outings used a similar MO, leading to speculation that he was a tinker specializing in software or network intrusion."

The room remained silent, most stony faced while the rest grimaced at the underestimation.

Armsmaster either didn't notice or ignored the bleak atmosphere, "His ratings we later increased to Tinker 3, Master 4 after the incident at Bay Central Bank," the wall shifted to display various drones, "where Lord Doom interjected himself into a three-way encounter with the Undersiders and the Wards. He displayed new technology: small drones that either fired tasers or a glue-like substance similar to containment foam."

There was an image of the Undersiders glued to the ground in various positions, including Tattletale glaring at the camera from beneath one of Hellhound's dogs. The pile of excrement nearby was the likely explanation for her expression. 

"The battle resulted in the capture of the Undersiders—who were later broken out of PRT custody—though the Wards were unable to detain Lord Doom."

"Yeah, because we got our asses kicked," Clockblocker muttered under his breath. 

"At the time, Grue's darkness masked most of Lord Doom's actions, and we assumed the Undersiders were mostly responsible for the Wards' defeat," Armsmaster pressed on, "Additionally, Lord Doom's behavior as a "joke" villain and his restraint against civilians marked him as a low priority target."

Armsmaster scrolled through various images of Lord Doom, "We were further advised to avoid Lord Doom after he began a social media campaign on PHO. He soon became popular for posing with "loot" or captured criminals."

The display showed an image of Lord Doom "sleeping" on a pile of money, followed by another with Lord Doom winding up to swing his hammer behind a group of skinheads captioned "They did Nazi me coming". 

"Lord Doom kept a low profile until the recent ABB bombings. After the first series of bombs, Lord Doom posted a statement on PHO where he promised "doom" for the ABB," Armsmaster paused, his jaw tense, "His post implied he had previously encountered and possibly defeated Lung."

"Pfft, he's good, but he's not [I]that[/I] good," Shadow Stalker scoffed, "What could he do? Annoy Lung into surrender with his stupid drones?" 

There were some nervous laughs from the other Wards, but the Protectorate members maintained their grim silence. 

"Wait, you can't be serio–" Clockblocker started. 

"At 2230 hours last night, an anonymous call was made to the PRT hotline requesting pick up for Bakuda and Oni Lee," Armsmaster interrupted him.

Some of the tension relaxed from Clockblocker's shoulders. 

"Miss Militia, Assault, and myself were deployed alongside the PRT to the pick up location," Armsmaster's voice somehow became more terse, "Along the way, console reported Lung sightings near the pick up location."

Vista let a small gasp escape, "Is he…?" 

Armsmaster clenched his jaw, then released it with a slow breath, "Upon arrival, we found Lord Doom engaging with an eight foot Lung, ostensibly to defend the prisoners."

Vista covered her mouth while Clockblocker gaped in shock. 

"He's…dead?" Kid Win raised the unspoken question.

"No, Armsmaster's just being dramatic beca–ow!" Assault rubbed his shoulder where Battery hit him. 

Even with his visor on, everyone could see the glare Armsmaster pointed at Assault, "As I was saying, Lord Doom was engaging Lung near the pick-up location. When we approached the scene on foot, one of his drones came to speak with us. 

"The drone indicated where Oni Lee and Bakuda were restrained, while another was displaying their confiscated armaments," Armsmaster switched the display to a new image, "Lord Doom emphasized, however, that the main danger was Bakuda's remote control which would allow her to set off the entire city, set to a deadman switch."

"Holy shit!" 

Armsmaster turned his glare onto Clockblocker, who meekly slumped down in his chair, "I have verified Lord Doom's information as well as his deactivation of said remote control."

"So why are we here?" Shadow Stalker drawled. 

"We are here, Shadow Stalker, because Lord Doom proceeded to bar us from the combat zone with impenetrable forcefields," the skin visible underneath Armsmaster's visor grew red, "While the forcefield itself would warrant a revised threat rating, Lord Doom proceeded to engage Lung in single melee…until subduing him for PRT transport."

The Wards burst into clamor—

"Wait, are you serious?" "What the _fuck_?!" "Bullsh–ow! Damn it Vista!" 

Armsmaster tapped another button on his wrist, and an air horn sounded through the room. 

Once the teens fell silent, Armsmaster continued, "Thank you. We are meeting for two reasons: first, Lord Doom has been classified as a potential A-class threat. If Lord Doom returns to his previous behavior, Wards may engage him verbally, but are advised to avoid physical conflict unless lives are at stake. Protectorate heroes are advised to use minimal force when engaging Lord Doom, and to avoid escalation of conflict. 

"Second, we are here to discuss Lord Doom's newly displayed capabilities," the display on the wall shifted to show an image of a dark figure fighting Lung. 

"After the bank incident, we believed Lord Doom had found his specialty as a "drone" tinker," Armsmaster began playing the footage, "However, last night's encounter conflicts with that theory."

The dark figure—presumably Lord Doom—was wielding an _enormous_ scythe, rapidly spinning it to attack while deflecting Lung's flames. 

"Besides his forcefield, Lord Doom displayed an array of new tinkertech during this fight, including this oversized scythe. Despite its impractical size, Lord Doom swung it effortlessly, and it was able to resist Lung's flame even after he grew to ten feet."

Lung smashed the ground, forcing Lord Doom to leap to safety… several stories high. The tinker remained airborne, pointing the shaft of his weapon at Lung. 

"Lord Doom's new flight capabilities were limited in speed, but compensated with increased maneuverability. He was able to move in all directions similar to a natural flyer—much different from flying with a jetpack or similar propulsion devices."

Lung spewed flame into the air towards Lord Doom, but it was blasted aside by a burst from his scythe. The scythe shifted then Lord Doom held it to his shoulder like a rifle, firing barrage of energy and goo. 

"As you can see, Lord Doom's weapon also fires projectiles—later examination showed that the fluids were an improved version of the glue-like substance he used at the bank."

The goo landed on Lung's face, but was quickly melted in a burst of flame…just in time for another blob of glue to hit his face. The cycle continued until Lung grew large enough to melt the good mid-air. Lung stretched his wings out and took to the air. 

Lord Doom hastily retreated, folding the scythe into a box before attaching it to his back. The tinker seemed to be looking through his utility pockets while absentmindedly dodging blasts of fire from his opponent. He even had the gall to perform a loop-de-loop around Lung! Lord Doom taunted Lung like a matador, then dodged at the last second. 

Lung crashed into something invisible, visibly stunned. 

"Yes, his forcefield was capable of containing a ten foot Lung. We weren't able to locate any of the tinkertech source for analysis, unfortunately."

Armsmaster almost sounded like a child who was told there wouldn't be dessert.

Lord Doom took advantage of Lung's distraction and continued searching his pockets. With a cheer—energetic enough to be visible through footage taken several yards away—Lord Doom pulled out a small orb, then charged straight for Lung. 

The dragon had shaken off the impact and was already facing the tinker. He opened his mouth in preparation for a blast—then visibly choked when a spiky drone flew straight in. 

Waves of flame came off of Lung's body as he tried to cough the drone out. There were even dribbles of fire pouring from his nose and mouth—likely from trying to melt the drone. The dragon was attempting the Heimlich maneuver on himself when Lord Doom zoomed in from of him. 

Lord Doom booped Lung's nose.

Lung paused, disbelief overriding rage. The heroes watching the footage did the same, torn between mirth and wonder at the tinker's audacity. 

Lung wasn't given the chance to push aside his disbelief, however, as Lord Doom chucked the orb he was holding at the dragon. The orb bounced off of Lung's head—

The heroes held their breath. 

—then zapped Lung. The energy from the orb briefly surrounded the dragon, then both were sucked into the orb. 

"Is that a fucking Pokémon ball?" 

The table turned to look at Triumph. 

The hero flushed, "It's an Aleph thing–my cousin likes the games…"

"That's not the end," Armsmaster interrupted, "Lord Doom had another device prepared."

Armsmaster forwarded the footage slightly—"this section does not provide any tactical information“—skipping through a rather extended victory dance. 

The footage slowed down once Lord Doom started walking towards Armsmaster, stopping several feet away. 

"Doom. You have several warrants out for your arrest. Hand over Lung," Armsmaster spoke first. 

There was the quiet slap of a face palm. 

"Are you sure?" Lord Doom's voice boomed through his modulator, "He's still rather large right now."

"You have him contained. Give us the device and instructions on how to remove him," Armsmaster gestured at the sphere on Lord Doom's waist, "You are responsible for any harm to the prisoner while he is affected by your tinkertech. It is in your best interest to release him into PRT custody."

"Hmmm," Lord Doom mimed looking at a watch, "You know, this has been a rather busy evening for me, doing your job. How about we pick this up tomorrow?" 

Armsmaster growled, then turned up his speakers, "Lord Doom. You have 30 seconds to comply–

"Armsmaster!" Assault shouted from a distance. 

“–before I place you under arrest for obstruction of justice."

Armsmaster pointedly ignored the stares from around the conference room. 

Lord Doom laughed heartily, bending over and clutching his side. He mimed wiping tears from his mask before straightening his posture. He put one hand cockily on his hip and used the other in a "come at me" gesture.

Armsmaster had set a 30 second timer on his HUD, and charged as soon as it ran out. Lord Doom didn't flinch or change his posture. A foot or so before Armsmaster could swing at Lord Doom, there was a loud thunk, and the camera fell back to look at the sky. 

Armsmaster continued to ignore the stares from around the conference room. 

"I had subtly tested and the previous forcefield barring entry was disabled."

"But he had another one" went unsaid.

The camera moved as Armsmaster stood up, "Lord Doom. You are resisting arrest. Come quietly or the consequences grow more severe."

Lord Doom folded his arms, his voice strangely serious "To clarify, you want to arrest me for not turning over an unrestrained, dangerous parahuman into your custody. You refuse to accept custody tomorrow, when I can ensure he is safe for transport, and you want to punish me for standing here while you assault me?"

"You are a wanted villain resisting arrest. Your grievances will be addressed once you are in PRT custody."

Armsmaster stopped the footage, then started a different clip, "Lord Doom escaped with Lung after our discussion. At 1730, one of Lord Doom's larger drones left a package at the bridge entrance to the Rig."

An obnoxiously pink present box with a red bow fell from a drone that quickly zoomed away. The box was quickly surrounded and foamed by the PRT officers guarding the bridge. 

"The package was left under guard until it could be checked for safety reasons. My scans indicated the package contained a single male human, unconscious."

The display flicked through various photos of the box and the masked man inside. 

"Lung remained unconscious long enough to place his in a reinforced cell on the rig," the display flickered again, "At 1900, Lord Doom posted various photos along with his own footage from last night. One photo in particular is rather worrying."

The photo showed a slightly smaller dragon Lung dressed in a onesie and bonnet, his mask altered so a pacifier covered his mouth. 

Armsmaster waited for the laughter to die down, still frowning, "At that size, there is no known tranquilizer capable of sedating Lung. While my own Brute tranquilizers are untested, his size would be at the upper limit of its efficacy."

It took a beat for the room to process that information. 

Armsmaster, "To reiterate, Lord Doom demonstrated an invisible forcefield, a hybrid melee-ranged weapon, flight capabilities, a capture device capable of restraining a ten foot Lung, and a drug or device capable of keeping him unconscious.

"Clearly his specialty is not what we believed it to be. I am opening the floor for ideas on his powers and weaknesses" 

"Tinker 3, my ass," Clockblocker muttered under his breath.

* * *

"Never meet your heroes," a voice grunted into the base, "Especially when they're humorless dicks with a halberd up their ass."

The girl on the couch tapped her phone screen, and a drone whizzed by Taylor chirping "I told you so!" 

"Have I mentioned how much I love your present?" Lisa called out, "Also, your favorite hero actually happens to be the biggest asshole. Some of the others aren't awful, but most of them have something or the other going on."

"Armsmaster's not my favorite, you should know," Taylor walked over to the kitchen and took a fresh cup of tea from a waiting drone, "Maybe I'll meet Alexandria at the next Endbringer fight."

Lisa swung her legs up so Taylor could sit, then plopped them into the other girl's lap, "Not likely, she leads the frontline Brutes, you're more equipped for S and R."

Taylor took a sip of her tea, "Well…" 

"Nope," Lisa sat up and narrowed her eyes at Taylor, "Your specialty is bullshit, but Endbringers are on a whole different level."

"Didn't Lung go head-to-head with Leviathan?" Taylor argued, "There's a lot of room for upgrades in my gear. I could–" 

"Lung was twice as large when he fought Leviathan," Lisa cut her off, "He was also underestimating you, which slowed down his ramp up speed."

Taylor frowned, "Yeah, but at the same time I wasn't pushing myself that hard either."

"Speaking of that," Lisa deftly changed subjects, "I've seen most of your gear, but I still have no idea how you took those baby photos."

Taylor grinned, "Oh? Not even a guess?" 

"Stop that, smug is my thing," Lisa playfully slapped Taylor's thigh, "You said your…"Pokeball" doesn't put people to sleep, and Lung didn't hit his head nearly hard enough to knock himself out."

Taylor simply smiled and took another sip of tea. 

"While you could maybe make a "sleep" drone, my power keeps telling me the way you dressed Lung was important?" Lisa threw her hands in the air, "I'm also not sure how a "sleep" drone would be any different from your usual tranquilizer ones, and we already established those wouldn't work."

Lisa pouted and crossed her arms when Taylor remained silent. Her power fixated on Lung's outfit again when she mentioned it, but she couldn't pull much from Taylor's reaction. 

Taylor simply raised an eyebrow. 

" Ugh! Fine," Lisa huffed, "I need a hint."

"Baby."

Her human reaction was to snark at Taylor about pet names, but her power shoved that impulse to the floor to shout at her. 

Taylor smiled at Lisa's expression. 

"Are you fucking serious?"

Taylor nodded. 

"When did you test–you'd didn't. You weren't sure if–" Lisa glared at her friend, "Did you risk yourself with untested tinkertech because you wanted to snub Armsmaster?!" 

Taylor shrugged, "It was a calculated risk."

Lisa groaned into her hands, "Where did you even get this idea?" 

"Well, you know how I was helping Charlotte babysit the other day?" Taylor perked up, always eager to talk about her ideas, "We put her sister down for a nap, and I thought we were going to just cuddle nearby to keep an eye on Abby."

Taylor did _not_blush at Lisa's smirk. 

"So I was confused when she pulled me up to leave, but then she showed me the baby monitor her family uses and…" Taylor ended with a shrug. 

"You linked the monitor aspect to drones, and since the purpose of a baby monitor is to observe sleeping babies, you linked that purpose to your drone's function," Lisa's eyes widened in disbelief, "Since your drone is meant to observe sleeping babies, any "babies" in its view must be asleep? And dressing Lung up in baby clothes was enough to count?!'

"It helped that he was kind of whiny too."

"Your power is such bullshit!"

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a dumb joke about how everything in RWBY is also a gun, therefore Taylor can make anything as long as it's also a drone. 
> 
> The baby monitor thing came next because I was trying to think of things that are really bullshit, but have some logic if you turned yourself sideways and squint into the abyss. 
> 
> (yes, Taylor and Charlotte are a thing in this omake, but there's not enough to warrant tagging it imo) 
> 
> Devices:  
Forcefield:  
Taylor wanted a drone that could protect other drones without being detected. She just abuses them so they protect whatever she wants too. 
> 
> Sniper-scythe:  
Based on Ruby Rose's sniper scythe. The folded up version act like a long distance observation drone, using the sniper scope like a telephoto lens
> 
> Flight:  
Taylor made weather drones able to navigate even the roughest storms. Then she put them on a harness. 
> 
> Pokeball:  
2 parts-  
Taylor wanted a drone for prisoner observation that would remain linked to its prisoner. (drone A)  
Then she built a drone that could carry a "prisoner observation" drone (drone B) 
> 
> Basically drone A hangs out inside drone B. When Taylor chucks drone B at something, that something is designated as a "prisoner", and shown to drone A. Once drone A is linked to the prisoner, drone B shut sight to the outside, so the prisoner is lover to where drone A can still observe it.  
It makes no sense, I know, but this is an omake let me live
> 
> Basic drones:  
"Glue" - Taylor wanted confoam, but got glue stuff instead when making drones that could slow people down  
"TattleDrone"  
A special drone just for Lisa—she uses it for recon, mission control, and to tell people "I told you so!"  
(She really likes that last function)


End file.
